Today’s post isn’t about a patient experience. Instead I wanted to talk about something of the utmost importance…

SELF-CARE

I don’t think I understood the importance of self-care until residency, let me tell you how vital it is to not only maintaining your sanity but also to caring for your patients.

Let’s rewind and replay the weeks that led to this post.

• June 2018, end of my 2nd year of residency, I’m on our inpatient service (I had intentions to write a post about a recent inpatient experience but I was so drained it didn’t happen).

[So we’re all on the same page, our inpatient service cares for family medicine patients that have been admitted to the hospital. We’re on this rotation for a month at a time, usually 12-13 hour days, and medically complex patients. Exhausting.]

• Back to June…it was a partially busy month but I survived.  July 1st I become a 3rd year resident AND a chief resident = increased responsibility! Specifically a lot more administrative responsibility. Thankfully I was on a lighter rotation during August which helped as I transitioned into my new roles and learned to balance my new responsibilities with my clinical duties. During August I’m caring for pregnant women and delivering babies all month (yep! Family medicine docs deliver babies!). This requires me to be in the hospital [obviously] and longer hours, but not as long as inpatient. September roles around and I’m back on inpatient! I start the month off strong, but by the middle of the month I’m fading fast.

One of the newest buzzwords in medicine is “burnout”. Everyone is talking about physician burnout; how to prevent it and promote wellness. Entire seminars and CME (continuing medical education) events have been developed based on making sure physicians don’t burnout. *pause* So, you want me to go to a required seminar on how not to burnout, leave work at work, and care for myself so I can care for my patients? I should attend this session for a few hours instead of finishing my notes [which is what keeps me at work late]? Hmmm….okay *side eye*

Back to my story…

• It’s now October, I’m not burnt but I sure can feel myself burning. I’m tired all the time. I can’t focus to get my work done. I’m late responding to emails. My patient notes aren’t as thorough as they usually are. Applications for a fellowship program are sitting in the drafts box of my email. My OCD/perfectionist tendencies are failing me at this point and I don’t care–that’s the scary part.

Thankfully I was due for a meeting with my advisor which was the wakeup call I needed.    Immediately after that meeting, I barricaded myself in my office and submitted my applications! It was also helpful that I had time away coming up, granted I would be at a medical conference BUT it wasn’t work.

I was gone for 7 days.

Seven glorious days that I didn’t have to refill any medications, respond to an “urgent” call about a walker prescription, no office visits for medication refills that turn into an evaluation for chest pain…it was AMAZING! If I’m being honest, I did respond to a few emails while I was away (the OCD/perfectionist tendencies were revived). My inability to stop working isn’t the point, or is it??

When I returned to work the following week I felt amazing! I felt rested and rejuvenated! The crazy part is I didn’t do anything special while I was gone, I even worked some while I was gone (so what!?). I think the key was that I was away from my work environment, which can be over-stimulating at times! While I was away I ate, slept, watched TV (a luxury), spent time with my sister and brother-in-law, explored a new city…basically I did what I WANTED instead of what was required of me by the hospital, my patients, supervisors, etc.

So what’s the point of this post? Take time to care for yourself! I tell my patients (mostly the women)… “If you don’t take care of you who will?

If that ain’t the truth! Unfortunately we live in a society that values productivity over wellbeing at times. If you don’t take the time to care for yourself, regardless of your career choice, you will burnout eventually. And when you’ve burned yourself down to nothing guess what? They’ll replace you with someone else and send you off with a going away party if you’re lucky. Find time to do what you love and enjoy. Take time away from work. Schedule vacation time, even if your finances won’t allow for you to travel the world you can spend those days away from work in your bed! Take it from me, your bed can definitely be a vacation destination.

I survived this round and I’m thankful I didn’t “burnout”, but I was too frighteningly close. Given my career choice and the ever-increasing demands associated with it, I’ll likely always be teetering between feeling burnt out and rejuvenated. Yet, my hope and prayer is that I’ll stay away from the fire that tries to snuff me out.

Medicine can be your enemy if you let it.

Learn to press pause.

Take care of yourself so you can take care of others.